Not many people know that I was a closet artist for many years. Since childhood, one of my favorite pastimes has been drawing and as an adult I often turned to it as a way to relax, renew and comfort myself, particularly when I felt overwhelmed by the bustle of life. I saw it as akin to eating a piece of luscious chocolate…an indulgence just for myself (I still have a secret stash of chocolate tucked away for emergencies). I wasn’t ashamed of my drawings, but it simply didn’t occur to me to share them with others. Frankly, I didn’t think anyone would be interested–I did them just for me. Strangely enough even some of my closest friends didn’t know that I drew in my spare time!
These are sketches from the ’70’s and early 80’s…yes, I am that old! Some are on the backs of grocery bags and some on newspaper print that has since yellowed.
So how did I come out of my shell? It was a slow process. Although I always saw fine art as a distant dream, my life didn’t seem to take me in that direction. I considered art school as a young adult, and was on the brink of submitting my application, but then realized that it was not financially feasible. Several years intervened, good years that I wouldn’t trade for anything, then I had the opportunity to pursue my interest in art in a concentrated fashion again later in life. Fine art seemed too big of a leap at the time, so I decided to pursue a career in garden design, since I could incorporate my love of drawing with the study of plants, which I also love. My shell was starting to crack open.
Sketches to illustrate garden design ideas for my clients gardens.
I always included drawings of my ideas for clients gardens when presenting a concept plan to them. Seeing their eyes light up with understanding and enthusiasm in response to a drawing, after I had tried to communicate my ideas in words to no avail, was a revelation to me. For the first time, I personally experienced the power of art (drawing) to communicate. Also, I found it deeply satisfying when clients told me that after my design was installed, they loved having coffee every morning in their new garden, grilling outdoors in the evening, having friends over to relax and chat on the new patio–when before they just stayed indoors! I began to see my artistic ability as something that could improve other peoples lives at least in some small way.
Clients gardens after installation
As art became more of a way for me to connect with others, rather than something just for myself, I became aware of Makoto Fujimura‘s work and organization, called International Arts Movement. He is an internationally recognized abstract painter, using the ancient Japanese technique of Nihonga. His paintings are incredibly beautiful, as layers of pigments made from ground minerals, and semi-precious and precious stones shimmer in the light falling on the canvas. His approach to art and culture has spurred me think through my own world view more clearly. His views resonated with what I already thought to be true, but hadn’t yet fully integrated. He describes culture as an ecosystem, and that each person has something important to contribute to the whole. Each person has a gift or gifts to discover and develop. He has been a strong supporter of artistic community and the intercultural exchange of ideas. His message fit in with the satisfaction and fulfillment I was experiencing in developing my abilities and sharing them with others.
So in the last few years, I’ve gone from the closet to the wide-open spaces. I started posting my sketches online on my blog and on Flickr about six years ago. About the same time, I joined a local sketching group and started sketching in public. I must say that even though I am a private person (obviously) and don’t like being in the limelight at all, I love sketching in a crowd. I pretend I am part of the scene myself. When people quietly approach to look over my shoulder or children boldly peer into my sketchbook, it is somehow gratifying to feel I am participating in the human community. There are many people who can sketch much better than I, but the point is that I am doing what I can do, offering what I can offer, and that is unique.
Sketches I’ve done around Portland where I live, mostly with my sketching group.
When before I saw my art as self-indulgence…something not practical, now I see it as a contribution I can make, beyond the joy and pleasure it gives me when I am doing it (most of the time anyway–sometimes it just hard work). Please don’t misunderstand me, I think any form of art or creativity is an excellent hobby and/or relaxing pastime, and is worthwhile as just that, just to do for oneself! But my past misplaced sense of pragmatism about my art was stifling to me. Now I tend to delight in any skilled work I see around me, from a waitress serving customers well to a cleverly-designed gadget to fine sculpture. As Fujimura says, do your task well to be part of the fabric of the community.
Some botanical studies I’ve done that represent paintings planned for the future.
I have heard other creative people talk about feeling guilty if they spend ‘too much time’ on art, because they should be dusting the house or washing their car, so it seems I am not the only one who has struggled with this. But whatever is your gift, find it and develop it to the best of your ability–we all need you…even artists…or maybe especially artists! As Fujimura puts it, in our culture which is largely driven by utilitarian pragmatism, “what we do as artists is so ‘useless’ that it is essential.” We have something unique and necessary to share.
This blog is about my journey as a botanical artist--what I am learning, what inspires me and what I am currently drawing or painting. My desire is to continually hone my skills to better express my wonder and gratitude for the beauty of the creation around me in the Pacific Northwest (USA).
What a beautiful post Janene! I have been going through a similar path over the past year and still trying to figure out the role of my artistic pursuits. If you don’t mind me asking….How did you start your career as a botanical artist? Was it something you have always done or wanted to do? Do you still do outdoor sketching? Sorry for the million questions, just trying to get some insight from artists I admire. Thanks
Marina, I am glad my story ‘spoke to you’! Thank you for asking those great questions. I have always loved drawing plants and been fascinated by the native plants here in the Pacific Northwest. I was introduced to botanical art while I was studying to be a garden designer, and wanted to pursue it further ever since then but lacked the opportunity. About four years ago I found out about the Society of Botanical Artists distance certificate program and enrolled immediately! If you click on “SBA course” under “category” on the side bar, you can read about my studies. And yes, I sketch outdoors, both plants and urban sketching. I meet with other artists to do both. Sorry for the long answer–this is turning into another post!
Thank you for sharing your story and answering my many questions! I will have a good read through your blog this weekend 🙂
Janene, You do such beautiful work and I have always admired how the Lord has blessed you with this amazing gift. I had Kayla read your post and it was such an encouragement to her. She to is a “closet artist” and we have been gently encouraging her to begin sharing with others. I saw the light go on in her after reading this and she said to me that she now realizes that such a gift is meant to be shared! Thank you for sharing this and I look forward to seeing much more of your work! 🙂
Jacque, Thanks for letting me know that your post was an encouragement to Kayla, your budding artist! She will be way ahead if she can understand about gifting and sharing when she is starting out, rather than taking years to get there like me. I’d love to see some of her drawings, maybe when and if you visit Portland? It’s great to hear from you and we miss you all! xox
Janene, this is beautiful and full of important truths. Thank you so much for posting this.
Thanks, Vicky! I am glad it was meaningful to you.
Thank you Janene, I think I will refer to this post often, especially the last bit about self-indulgence. I read this post during a coffee break, whilst guiltily catching up with the housework! However, I may be cleaning but my thoughts are all about art.
Chris–its hard to find that balance, isn’t it!? One good thing about housework is that it can provide good thinking and planning time for art. Plus sometimes I just need to get up and move around after a long stretch at the easel. But it helps me to remember that my gifting is in art, so that should be my focus…not keeping the house clean!
What a lovely post; both words and your sketches.
Thanks Sue! Good to hear from you.
Your philosophy and journey are both pragmatic and inspiring. I’ve often lamented the devaluation of the arts in public education as I firmly believe that the arts are what make us fully human. Music, visual arts, dance, drama, all contribute to both the individual and to society as a whole. Anything that we can do to build community is positive and not to be dismissed. Art does that both for the individual and culture. Now that I’m retired I am looking for opportunities to further develop my gifts to share with others. I also agree that everyone has gifts that they are able to contribute for the benefit of society and also for their own enjoyment. Keep doing what you love and it will inspire others to follow their own path and dreams.
Janene, as I read through your posts this morning, I find you have written down my own thoughts and struggles about my desire to be an artist… I especially love the quote. “What we do as artists is so ‘useless’ it is essential.”. I am finally ready to make my art an important part of my daily routine with no guilt of doing so! 🙂
Hi Constance, I am glad to hear that you could relate to my post, and especially that you found it encouraging. In today’s utilitarian culture, beauty for its own sake or beauty as a way of communicating truth (by that I mean not sentimentality but even hard truths) is often not understood or appreciated. As artists we need to break away from that thought pattern and create art as our contribution to the human community. Congratulations on your resolve–best wishes to you!